Homosexuality and Religious Stupidity

So earlier, I posted a picture somewhere that you don't need to know. More specifically, this picture: 

Granted, I was asking for a bit of a tongue lashing from the more religious people, which was my intention. It was explained to me, summarily, that death doesn't apply to fucking up on the rules and other such nonsense, but its still a sin. 

Well pardon the fuck out of me. Here's where that pisses me off. Who are you to say that what I do or don't do is a sin? Yes, with your make believe faith based bullshit, it is a sin for those who follow it. For those that don't, we're pretty sure you'll full of shit. I'll put it this way: as sure as you are that we're going to hell, that's how sure you're full of shit. 

That's just normal everyday type stuff. Basically, shut the fuck up and let me live MY life rather than the life you THINK I should be living. Now we get into homosexuality and being gay. First off, I'm straight, but I don't give a damn if you're gay, straight, bi or whatever the hell else. What you do in the bedroom is your business, not mine. I feel the same with gay marriage. I don't give a shit if you're a guy who wants to put a ring on another guy's finger. I may think you're insane for wanting to get married in the first place, but that's another subject. Who you love is not my business and doesn't effect how I live. 

Now we get to the idiots who think it does. I have only one question for you. In what way? Give me an example of how same sex marriage fucks with your life in any way. And don't give me the "sanctity of marriage" horse shit either, because that's exactly what it is. Horse shit. People divorce all the fucking time and celebrities get married for 70 fucking hours. Isn't that more of a violation of the sanctity of marriage than any gay couple getting married? 

It's such a problem that we're getting state and federal politicians involved. Yeah, because they're so good at everything else. From the first line of the first amendment: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;..." Some might argue that it means the government can't announce an official religion and only this religion shall be followed. But it's okay to slowly trickle religious beliefs into the laws of our country based solely on the beliefs of others to protect what? A religious view? That's getting perilously close to violating the first amendment. We don't want "Big Brother" watching us all the time, but its okay if we let it into our bedrooms and dictating who we can and can't love. That's all good because its what these religious nutbags believe. What the fuck is wrong with us?

I could keep going, but I think you get the idea. If your views on same sex marriage is based on religion, you can kiss my ass. If you want to continue down this path, atheists should start coming out of the woodwork and forcing their views on YOU. You believe in WHAT?! A god?! What the fuck is wrong with you? Faith? In what? I have faith this lottery ticket will be a winner, but that doesn't make it true dumbass. 

My advice: shut the hell up and if anybody, gay, straight or otherwise, want to fuck up their lives by getting married, sit down, shut the fuck up and let them live a life of THEIR CHOOSING, not your fucked up version of it.

In conclusion: 

When will Nicki Minaj make a video for, "I Endorse These Strippers"?

I love Nicki Minaj so effing much lol she inspires me everyday!!! <3

I don't know what's worse, the fact they love some hip hop "artist" so "effing" much or that Nicki Minaj is an inspiration.  An inspiration for what, get herpes and dress like a slut because you have no talent whatsoever?  If so, get your ass to Russia and steal a rocket.  Fly into space and keep on going until you die of old age, starvation, dehydration or opening the door to try and touch a pretty star. 

I realize this is supposed to be an advice blog, but holy mother of fuck.  Nicki Minaj, the "rapper" of such hits as "Beez in the Trap", "Pound the Alarm" and "Stupid Hoe", is an every day inspiration.  We're seriously fucked.

My girlfriend doesn't text me hearts?

So yesterday my girlfriend and I (this is our first week of dating) went on a date.  I'm 15 (she's 13, turning 14 soon), and for our first date yesterday we went bowling.  It was really fun, we bowled a couple games, (She won both :'() and then we went to walk around and we sat in front of a chick fil a parking lot, on a grassy area.  We sat and talked, then lay on the grass and talked, and slowly, I started moving closer to her.  There was music playing from my iPod and we were listening, and I cuddled up next to her, and I said "Jeez, my hand is cold, make it warm," and we held hands there for the first time.  Then after about 30 minutes, we got up, but were sitting and I put my arm around her, and we held hands and talked, then I said "Guess what I'm thinking" and we played the guessing game, and when she gives up I say 'This' and I lean in and kiss her.  We kiss 2 or 3 times.  Then she says "You are thinking about good things," and she puts her head on my shoulder.  Anyways, after I just told you that whole story XD I have one question, after the date her and her dad dropped me of at my house, and I texted her for a bit, then she got on facebook and I talked to her there, then I said "Alright, well, I will go finish watching The Office and then I will go to bed.  Goodnight! <3" I sent that heart and she sent back Goodnight :)". Does that mean anything?  I'm pretty worried she didn't send back a heart...please help! Should I be worried, or is it ok, or what?  Please help!

Pink Panty Paul

My boyfriend never texted me and said he would?

Before we get to the question, a quick notice.  First, I'll post the question and then, right after, I'll put in a jump.  So it's up to you whether or not you want to satisfy your curiosity.  Second, I realize I probably make mistakes in grammar on occasion, but since I'm an adult, I actually give a shit about it, unlike most of the idiots on the internet these days.  On to the question.

"on Wednesday my boyfriend who i've had since Monday asked if i had an email or phone.  I gave a long winded answer to say i had both.  we were standing in the school halls and there were people all around us.  he handed me his phone and i put in my number.  as he was walking to the doors he said he would text me that night.  he didn't.  i was sick today which is the day after that so i didn't go to school.  now it's 9:30 at night and he still hasn't texted me.  what's going on.  did he just forget or what.  we are in middle school and don't say we're to young cause i don't care.  plz tell me whats going on."

I'm 15 and in a long distance relationship?

"We live 3000 miles apart :( We are both learning to drive so we can get our licenses next year. But until then we can't really see each other. Does anyone have any advice?"

Yeah, here's some advice: Try using the head that's ABOVE your shoulders rather than the one that's hanging between your legs.  Oh, and the emoticon is a nice touch.  I figured the despair with which you typed up the question was fairly obvious, but that frowny face sealed the deal.  I will, however, at least applaud the fact that people can read your question without some sort of decoder ring, but that's about as far as my praise is going to go.  You're 15 and, I assume, in high school.  Granted, most teens are taught about abstinence, or at least told about it.  But when you have enough hormones running through your system to make all of China horny from one drop of your blood, the message is not going to sink in.  I'm sure you can find a nice little 15 year old girl to give you a shitty hand job 5 minutes after meeting her, so why the fuck are you in a long distance relationship?  Speaking of which, are you fucking insane?  The internet apparently was invented to drive a teen boy crazy by allowing him to find a pretty girl 3,000 miles away.  How much you want to make a bet that it's some 53 year old fat guy sitting in his computer chair with a urine bottle next to him so he doesn't have to get up to take a piss? 

You're both learning how to drive, too?  How about you try interacting with, I don't know, an actual flesh and blood human being sitting three feet from you in class first?  Have you tried that yet?  Hell, even one that's 10 miles away.  Or 20.  3,000 miles?  Jesus fucking Christ.  Maybe this little parental mistake decided that having a girlfriend 3,000 miles away would ease the burden by not allowing her to nag the shit out of him for not staring at her every second of the day. Then there's the fact that he's willing to drive 1,500 miles to see her.  Here's a question:  Who's paying for the gas?  Do your parents even know about her yet?  Your parents willing to shell out $300 in gas every week for you to go see her?  At least they haven't been able to reproduce and pollute the gene pool yet.  But we all know that after their first visit, THAT won't be true any more either.

Why I Am Starting and Why I Don't Care What You Think

For the most part, people are okay at the whole seeking advice thing.  Every so often, you run into a question that makes you shake your head and consider nuclear holocaust for the good of the few.  When I say every once in a while, I was being sarcastic.  Sarcasm is a weapon of choice in the fight against stupidity and if you don't like it, you can go ahead and feel free to not read any more.  I really don't care if it pisses you off or makes you think angry thoughts that you feel need to be expressed towards me.  Just because you're pissed off doesn't mean I'm going to stop.  Just because you called me an asshole doesn't mean I'm going to stop.  I'll stop because I want to.  I'm sure there will still be people that leave comments to make themselves feel better, but whatever.  If using caps lock and trying to knock your keyboard into next week because you're angry, feel free.  My goal is not to please everybody, or anybody for that matter.  If you find it funny, great!  If not, the internet browsers now have these buttons people like to call the back button.  Feel free to use it at any time.  Oh, and the questions will be posted as is from whatever corner of the internet I get it from.  I won't make corrections as I go or anything like that because, why?  Better that people see how stupid we are than try to cover up some little shit stain's mistakes so they don't feel bad.  Welcome to life.